I am proudly autistic, asexual, and kinky.

Ever since the local governments rescinded much of the pandemic restrictions, I began going out as Jennifer a whole lot less than I was doing.  Let’s admit – it’s fun to be Jennifer, but she has her ups and downs.  One thing that I always enjoy is doing trips as Jennifer, where I am committed to her persona for the entire trip.  In those instances, I only pack stuff for Jennifer, and so I would have to buy an entire set of clothes to get out of Jennifer’s skin, which provides a barrier to a quick changeout.  After all, Jennifer as you have known her is entirely clothing, so she can be donned and doffed in relatively short order.  However, in the past year, I’ve changed how I present Jennifer a bit.  With the pandemic measures’ subsiding, I’ve found it harder to get away with Jennifer in the form that I’ve known her.  A gold bodysuit, while fun, is harder to justify now that masks are coming off.

One thing about masks-optional, though, is that while Jennifer was previously becoming somewhat routine, the option of not having to mask injected a level of fun back into her.  Now, Jennifer was once again a special occasion.  She was something different and exciting.  Though initially, Jennifer kept her usual presentation, i.e. the gold bodysuit, as I continued to dress in the gold bodysuit for Jennifer through the end of 2021.

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There’s a certain level of fun when combining  some of my interests – BDSM and crossdressing, in this case.  A few months ago, I got to do that when visiting a friend for a little play date.  For this, Jennifer wore her slinky little red dress and black heels, and we had fun putting me in various positions on the different equipment for the camera as well as doing some light flogging and other such teasing.

Posing with a stripper pole.

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When I became Jennifer to show off the back bedroom in the previous post, it was also something of a play session with a friend.  This was my first time getting tied up in far too long, and my first time doing so as Jennifer.  I wasn’t quite sure what I wanted to do with the photo for the previous post, and was considering using multiple photos, so we did a lot of different poses.  I ended up using only one photo, because the post focused on hardware, and Jennifer was really only there for eye candy.  To use multiple photos of a model in various poses in a post about housing and other hardware would have made for a major tangent.

So here are the various other poses, starting with holding the spoon:

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Back at the beginning of September, Jennifer, my feminine persona, made her debut at a private play party.  As Jennifer, I wore a navy blue sheath dress from Old Navy, along with the other effects that turn me into Jennifer, i.e. rice boobs, zentai, and wig.  Unfortunately, however, since I was still recovering from a broken bone in my foot about a month prior, I couldn’t wear proper footwear.  Therefore, rather than wear Jennifer’s shoes, I had to go with a pair of Crocs, since Jennifer’s shoes were too painful to wear with the injury still actively healing.  But hey, at least I didn’t have to wear a boot anymore.

Going out as Jennifer for the first time was kind of “eh”.  I knew the people that I was with, but I hadn’t been able to completely drop my inhibitions and relax.  I felt uptight, not quite knowing how to behave as Jennifer.  I mostly stood back and watched from the sidelines as others did their thing.  I think the biggest thing was becoming comfortable in Jennifer’s skin, and I suppose this first time was as good of a start as any.  However, I have a long way to go before I am really comfortable as Jennifer around others.  Becoming Jennifer at home is one thing, since I live by myself, and I’m just walking around the house feeling the fabric against my skin, and trying to walk convincingly in heels.  Being Jennifer in front of others is an entirely different matter.

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It’s funny how things work out sometimes.  I taught my friend BroadSpectrum how to do a two-column tie, and she caught on really quickly.  The way I usually do it is to demonstrate the tie on the hands of the person learning, by tying their hands in front.  Then I get them to tie my hands in front (so that I can observe), and then we have a little fun with it.  And in this case, I got my arms tied from behind, I got my feet tied, and then, in explaining that the two-column tie can be used on any two things, got put in a hogtie.

This is also when I learned something about BroadSpectrum: she has a seriously evil streak.  That led to a scene where I was blindfolded, ballgagged, and then spanked and tickled.  I’m not saying that I didn’t enjoy it, but I was definitely surprised at how quickly she got into her zone as a top.  She considers herself something of a switch, but I think she’s got more top in her than bottom.  She also played with sound to an extent, making snapping noises with some leather belts near my head before administering a few whacks to my clothed backside.  Plus all sorts of tickling.  Needless to say, we had fun.

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A few weeks ago, I got together with my friend TerrificTeez, and we did two scenes together, both involving wax play.

But first, I taught TerrificTeez how to tie rope for bondage.  I have tied TerrificTeez up in the past, but it was always in an arms-behind position, so she couldn’t see what I was doing.  My goal was to teach her the classic two-column tie.  I prefer the double rope method with lark’s head (second one down on the linked page) myself, and so this is the style that I taught.  There are certainly other ways to do a two-column tie, such as this minor variation, and other variations that diverge a bit more, but the double-rope style with the lark’s head has always worked well for me, so I was happy to share it.  First thing I did was to tie TerrificTeez’s wrists in front to demonstrate, while she watched.  I had to remember to tie slowly and explain what I was doing as I was doing it, and to stop for any questions as I was going.  Normally, I just make small talk about whatever while I’m getting a person properly restrained, or being properly restrained myself.  After that, I let her out, and she tried it on me, again with arms in front.  She learned quickly, only making one rookie mistake, where she wrapped the rope around my wrists too tightly early on.  And I will admit – I made the same mistakes early on as well.

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Last weekend was an amusing time.  I was at a friend’s house with fellow kinksters and scene newcomers TerrificTeez and BroadSpectrum, and along with other activities, we played in the basement for a little while.  However, interestingly enough, that wasn’t how it started out.

Since this was both TerrficTeez and BroadSpectrum’s first time visiting this particular friend’s house, I showed them the basement, which has served as a dungeon on a few occasions (something about a basement space makes it seem uniquely suited for kink).  I initially took BroadSpectrum down to show her the space, best described as a fairly ordinary basement with a couch, a coffee table, and a decent amount of open space with area rugs, and then show her how some of my various implements worked and felt.  I don’t think I’ve had or seen this much laughter in a scene in a long time (or ever).

The first thing that I demonstrated to BroadSpectrum was the rope.  My usual go-to for rope is a soft, manmade-fiber clothesline that I bought for a fairly low price at Home Depot.  It came in a pack of 200 feet, and I cut it into 50 feet in order to be suitable for my needs.  Also needing to take a picture to use as a profile pic, after some discussion about how to do some tying for that, we agreed to tie BroadSpectrum’s wrists in front around a floor-to-ceiling pole.

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I’ve done enough scenes by now to know how I’m going to respond to things.  I know that I don’t like having the bottoms of my feet played with (too sensitive).  I know that I don’t like being struck on the backside too many times in a row because it becomes too intense too quickly.  Same goes for other stinging impact play.  Hit the same place too many times, and I’ll end up calling a “yellow” on that in relatively short order.  Moving all around and giving each target a time to rebound before the next strike is okay, but not the same spot multiple times.  I know that I really like thuddy impact play, since it’s felt on a much deeper level.  And I have an idea about positions that I shouldn’t get myself into.

But when it comes to aftercare, I can usually get right up from a scene and be good to go.  Untie me and I need minimal assistance.  Maybe I’ll admire the rope marks for a few minutes, but otherwise, I’m good to go, though I admit that BDSM is somewhat physically draining for me (though I sleep quite well afterwards).  My needing an actual aftercare period to come back down and recover is highly unusual.  But a scene that I recently did with a friend was one of those scenes.

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A play session that I had yesterday at a friend’s house should be a lesson as to what not to do when playing with rope.  Short of it is that I had a bit of bad pain in the middle of a scene, and it was my own stupid fault.

When this particular friend and I play, we switch, and we service-top for each other.  In those scenes, the top plays with the bottom per the bottom’s desires, and checks in to make sure that they are good to go and are otherwise enjoying it.  The first scene, where I was the top, went very well, with simple ropework and a lot of playing.

My scene, on the other hand, didn’t go too well.  I like a lot of bondage, and I was thinking about how I wanted to be tied this time.  Usually, this comes naturally, but I was a bit stumped on what I wanted to do this time.  What I ended up deciding on was a frogtie and arms behind my back.  For this, we used my 15′ lengths of rope, and tied everything using a double-rope style.  I usually tie my own legs, since I kind of enjoy tying myself up (as much as I can, at least).  Then my friend tied my wrists together behind my back.  After that, we added a blindfold and a gag, I rolled over onto my back, and then it was off to the races.

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If there is such a thing as a bad night at the dungeon, this one was it.  I was mistreated in my scene, and then treated as a fifth wheel outside of that.  It’s definitely caused me to reevaluate how I view D/s and my own role within it.

Recently, my regular play partner became involved in a relationship with someone whom she called her “Sir”.  Since she became involved with this person, our play scenes had become more dominant/submissive with the inequality that comes with that designation, rather than filling the top or bottom role between equals.  I was being ordered around more in our scenes.  Pre-scene negotiations became almost nonexistent.  “Give me your hands,” was usually the extent of it, and if I attempted to negotiate a scene, I was told that it wasn’t my place as the sub.  If I tried to explain mid-scene that something wasn’t working for me or getting too intense, then I was told, in an annoyed sort of way, that I was “topping from the bottom”.  And she would refuse to gag me, which, as I mentioned before, I need in order to get to subspace.  And if I’m making noise, gag or not, I’m not there.  I’ve noticed that when I’ve reached subspace, I stop making any sound.  I stop talking (or “mmphing”, as the case may be), I don’t giggle, and I don’t make happy sounds.  I just go silent.

So last Friday, I got together with my play partner for our usual dungeon night routine: dinner somewhere and then off to DCDungeon.  I knew that her “Sir” would be coming along, and that was fine, because I was interested in meeting him.  He seemed like a nice enough guy at dinner.  We talked about whatever, and then when dinner was done, we headed over to DCDungeon.  At DCDungeon, after my play partner and I showed her “Sir” around the place (it was his first time), it was time for a scene.  As I had understood it going into this, we were going to be beaten together.  That’s not how it happened.  First she was flogged by “Sir”, and then when he was done, she was going to do similarly to me.

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